Eat my whipped words

Flogging my book is like flogging a dead horse – ff…futile flagellation.

For the life of me, I cannot understand why I am not yet striding the highbrowed halls of literary fame or surfing the tide of moolah, crashing at my door. Odd.

I wrote a book. A wonderous historical fantasy. PadmabookcoverIt tells the tale of Padma, ‘the large, jewelled mound of mud which came out of the riverbed in the manner of a lotus flower and turned into something resembling an elephant’. I narrated the plans of Chaddanta, the teachings of Khonsu, the visions of Kandula. It recalls the fate of Kadru, the cavernicolous nagi, and the exploits of George as drummer boy and man.


I was informed, or assumed, my success was assured.



To further augment my doubtless ascendancy, and smooth over an early minor hiccup (no-one bought my masterpiece) I invested lightly in some marketing. I tried Facebook’s boost my post – read ‘boost our profits’. The anticipated thrust of boosters set to max disappointed. More of a dull prod at the end of the month to pay the invoice. Similarly, with Amazon Marketing Service my bids all fell below par. Blind bidding against the big girls and boys, AMS proved to be no more than Amazon Mindless Speculation.

Where next? I skimmed some free books on flogging 101. Joined this group and that group, even attended an online party – it was real, but still no sales. I have entered competitions in the hope I win them all and someone, anyone pays me the attention I so deservedly wouldn’t mind. What I lack in dynamic selling skills, and passion for whips and commerce, I more than make up for in shoulder-shrugging complacency and feigning disinterest.

After thoroughly exploring the market, and eight months of breathtaking stagnancy, I have finally come to the conclusion which stared me in the face all along.



Of course, it’s just another marketing strategy, I hear you all shout. Maybe, if enough people are willing to read the book, review it, and I write another one. In truth, it would be my pleasure if someone read it and enjoyed it. So, today it is on Smashwords for free download. This week it should reach every other ebook distributor except Amazon. Hopefully, they will follow suit at the end of the month – links to follow. It shall remain free for the foreseeable future so tell your friends if you can be arsed. Whoever you are, I hope you like it.


All images courtesy of Pixabay


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