The Great British Book Bake off

Consider these questions.

Are you feeding your mind with a balanced diet? Has your literary palette become stale? Are you feeling bored with your same regular servings? Veggie_Loaf_Prison_Food

In need of something new, which is both nutritious and delicious, and with zero calories?

Here is a recipe for an unusual treat which is bound to delight your intellectual taste buds and satisfy the most voracious of appetites. An intriguing dessert, finely layered and richly nuanced with an abundance of unique ingredients.

Padma V4

The cooking of this sumptuous feast is drawn from ancient and modern methods, and can be devoured hot or cold as a main course. It is also versatile enough to be eaten at banquets or as a supper before bedtime.

You will need:

  • One large mixing bowl
  • One drum
  • An attention span
  • English language


  • Entire elephant sub species – Elaphas Maximus Maximus (Sri Lankan elephant)
  • One large tablespoon of European empires
  • A soupcon of myth
  • One trans-dimensional alien and craft
  • One pink elephantine embodiment of hope
  • One old and grizzled coffee planter named George
  • One blue moon
  • One quest
  • Spice mixture
  • Grit and determination

Before cooking, marinade the elephants in cinnamon and coconut for 500,000 years

Pre-heat the oven to gas mark curious.

Gently mix the elephants and myths in a large melting pot and simmer. Add the alien and leave to rest. Add the hope. The mixture should now be the colour of a padparadscha sapphire.


Gradually introduce the coffee planter and stir thoroughly. Introduce the blue moon carefully when the mixture is smooth and gently bubbling. Then add the quest in parts, whilst beating to the time of the drum. Add grit and spice to taste. Before the mixture separates place in the oven until risen. Leave to settle before serving.

If you think you might like to try this tasty delight, the recipe book is currently available FREE until midnight 3 September in eBook format on any Amazon site. All links can be found on my blog HERE

Reviews are exceedingly welcome. Enjoy.

All images are my own or from creative commons

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